Broken Record and the Art of Waiting

I have not blogged much in the past couple years.  I love the art of blogging, but so much of what I was dealing with, or processing, made me feel like a broken record.  I think many of us have been in a time of waiting, where we feel like we bring the same requests to God, and we know cognitively that He hears us.  But, the void of unanswered prayers looms before us and we wait some more.  I guess it's not really unanswered prayers..but the feeling of such.  He is always answering, always communicating and is always faithful.

It's been in this time, these months and years of waiting, that I have had to learn what it really means to TRUST.  I've always trusted God, I mean, He's always been faithful.  I've seen him work over and over in my 30+ years of being His child.   I KNOW He has my best interests at heart.  I know He loves me more than I can possibly imagine.    It's just the land of waiting that is hard.  It's then when the enemy can creep in and attack what I KNOW to be true.  It's when I can here the enemy whisper lies to me like.." Sure God is good...but He's being mean.."

 It's in the land of waiting, where I can spiral down into doubt, fear, anxiety.  BUT...in the land of waiting is where I have learned some amazing things about the character of my heavenly Father.  I have learned to battle Satan in ways I have never had to.  I've learned to run to the Scriptures, not just to have "devotions/quiet times", but to literally to lap up strength.  I've had mornings where in the shower I have had shouted scripture to fight off the exhausting work of waiting and the depression that I can sink into.  I have learned to fill my home with worship.  When I feel the cold strands of fear and worry start to creep in, I crank up the worship tunes and fill my heart and mind with HIS praises.

It's been about 6 years of waiting and yearning and leaning into what Monty and I believe is HIS calling on our lives.  We see a possible answer to our time of waiting on the horizon.  We rejoice in that, but we also know better than to but our trust in what "might be".  Instead we both are leaning into Jesus, surrendering our dreams to HIM..

God could say no, He could close this door that seems to be cracking open.  My job is to "Wait patiently for the Lord" and know that HE HAS HEARD MY CRY!  So, even if this door closes, my heart will be sad, but I Will not be shaken.  I will just burrow closer to His heart and wait for what's next!

Psalms 40:1-3

¹ 

I waited patiently for the Lord;

    he turned to me and heard my cry.

² 

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

    out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock

    and gave me a firm place to stand.

³ 

He put a new song in my mouth,

    a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord

    and put their trust in him.